She doesn’t know shit. Unoriginal to the core, she borrows from the world around her and tries to call it her own. Her style and taste in music are found in magazines; she’s trendy and does everything she can to fit in around the background. She screams and tries to show off her individuality, but she doesn’t have any of it. In always trying to be on top of the latest shit, she’s broken herself down to be nothing but a tool.
She’s not down. She’ll never embrace her true nature, because in order to do that, she’s got to accept her flaws and seek to be bigger than them. Instead, she chooses to cover them up and flaunt her strong suites. She’s nothing but a bluffer who knows how to present herself well.
I’m sitting here watching now, because there is absolutely nothing left for me to say or do. I watch as she runs around trying to be someone she’s not.. watching her lose every last bit of her being, just trying to be a part of something, or anything for that matter.. She’s never really been an active player in this life, because she’s always abiding by someone else’s rules.
She thinks she’s someone important; tries so hard to put up this pretty fucking picture, when she’s got sorrow written up and down her spine. It’s become her fuel that keeps her driving around in circles, but she’ll never get passed it. She doesn’t know how, because she’s been stuck in the same loop for years now.
This girl smiles, but never means anything by it. She’s never happy, because she doesn’t want to be herself. She just wants to fill the shoes that’ll keep her safe in this world. She’s not the rebel or badass she makes herself out to be, because she’ll never ever take the kind of risks she reads of. She’ll never risk her life for herself, because she doesn’t value it enough to bring about the change she wants and needs. There’s absolutely no courage in the words.. they’re not even hers. She just waits and listens for the right lines in movies and songs, then repeats them over and over again like a broken record.
The saddest girl I know is losing her heart and is trading in her soul. She lies to herself everyday, and she falls further and further into this lie she doesn’t even understand. She’s not shit at the end of it all, and behind this lie, she knows it. She craves attention, throws fits when she doesn’t get it, and cries when she’s alone; a spoiled fucking brat who’s had everything given to her, who fools herself when she says she’s earned it all.
Always waiting for your line, as if life were a script. You keep trying to find your part, instead of trying to define it. I feel so sorry for you, there’s nothing left for me to do. I’m saddened by how lost you’ve become.. when you’ve been in the very same spot all along.
I know much too many of these sad girls.. They are the saddest ones I know..
